The last few days have for some reason just been kinda blank. I'm not sure how to describe it. I have felt the loss of my #3 son and #2 daughter in law in a different fashion this week. It's been just a deep hurt. It hasn't neccessarily be dibilitating. Just a deep down sense of loss that I've not felt for ten years. Tuesday night, we met with our insurance agent from whom we purchased a life insurance policy on Garrett many years ago. This is the second time we've done this. I had not seen Garrett's death certificate till then. As I read over it, it seemed each word seeped through my skin, muscle, (to be honest fat too,) and down to the very marrow of my bones. And an extreme sadness and hurt just invaded me. Last night, I had been asked to share this Facebook ministry with my church family, and had there been another program available, I probably would have asked that it be substituted at the last minute. But as I read through some of my posts of the last two months for them, it just seemed to go right through my lungs and into my blood and travel to every cell. And then, as I sit down to catch up on this site and PfGJ, the local Fox affiliate airs it's Storm of Destruction or whatever it was called. And I sit here and watch for the first time, scenes of what happened that day, and the following days. You see, Janell and I were in the hospital waiting room with no TV for 5 1/2 weeks, except what we might see when we came home at nigh to shower or feed the dogs. And because I would not change the channel, I sit here typing with dried tears on my cheeks and fresh ones appearing every few minutes. But this is all part of the healing process. And these hours or days will come every now and then, and you never know when they will strike. But hopefully, last night will be the first of many times that I get to share with people what so many of you have encouraged and helped me write. So I guess I should be thanking ya'll. And I do. Each of your prayers and the requests to continue posting do give me a sense of being needed in a diffrerent way. His timing is always right, we just have to adjust.
I'll Be Back.