As I think back over the last two years today, I have started a list of things that are different. They have come to me slowly, so it may not be a long list. But sometimes I start typing and I can't stop for a while. I never know......
1. We don't have to add chairs at the kitchen table anymore when all the kids come over to eat.
2. I wear my sons wedding band.
3. I haven't heard "Daddy-o" in a mighty long time.
4. The Auburn house key on my keychain has no door to unlock.
5. We have TWO boxes with sons' names on 'em, full of memoribillia from Kindergarten on up that they will never take to their houses.
6. I now have to pay to have my AC & heating worked on, and my computer.
7. Easter pictures never meant so much.
8. Opening presents on Christmas doesn't take as long.
9. Auburn National Championship football (numbered, limited edition, display case) still sits in our den. It was supposed to be a 2011 Christmas present.
10. 115 Alpine Street.
11. Kevin's middle child syndrome has been replaced with the only child syndrome. If we go out to eat, we are spending his inheritance.
12. The incredible neck rubs that were swapped. He had big strong hands.
13. Daily decisions and life in general have become simpler. Something is either important or it's not. If it isn't, get rid of it.
14. I now measure time by how many times I have filled up my "Daily Pill (morn,noon,night, M-F) Planner and refill prescriptions.
15. I am closer to God than I've ever been
I came upon your blog through fb. Someone posted a link on "Prayers for Garrett." I do not know the circumstances, but I completely identified with your blog post from April. Ten weeks ago, this afternoon, my brilliantly talented, artist, musician son (19) took his own life in his bedroom. My husband found him. Although I know I will never be the same, I DO know that my GOD IS the same. As I'm tempted to look with dread at the long years (possibly) ahead of our family, and all the things that have changed, and will change, I will remember the last sentence of your post, because I, too, am closer to God than ever before. His grace is truly supernatural.
ReplyDeleteYou know the true meaning of love, loss and faith. You are an inspiration. Please accept my gratitude along with my most sincere condolences. God Bless.
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