As I start this post, please let me say up front that I am never trying to toot my own horn or pat myself on the back. I am not worthy to even be writing this except that God has allowed me to experience many things in my 57 years and suddenly, He's given me a forum to tell others how He's brought me through the valleys. Especially the last 14 years.
The other day the friend that cuts my har and has for almost twelve years asked me, she is a Christian herself, how can I still be smiling . How can what you've gone through not made you angry and bitter?
I thought a minute, and just told her this. What would anger accomplish? What would it get me? Bitterness and anger, the best I can remember, have never been a part of my adult make-up. I don't remember really ever having anger.... I take that back. When our boys were small, I can think of a few times I really got angry with them, mostly Brandon. He really tested us a few times. And several times when one or two out of the three would not do their yard work chores, I would get angry. But I can't remember going to bed mad. Now in 37 years of marriage, I'm sure there has been a time or two when I went to bed mad at Janell for something. But I can't remember them. God says in His Word, to not let the sun go down on your anger. And in the last 14, I can't remember ever going to bed mad at all. If I have something that gets me heated up, before I go to bed, I've dealt with it in my own mind. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I'd rather just forgive and forget. And I MEAN forget. I don't have a good long term memory, never have (except for song lyrics - strange). But I just see anger and bitterness as emotions that can cancel out happiness and good things. Sure, in 10 months I've lost a brother, mother in law, aunt, daughter in love and a son, and my wife has had a stroke. Mad?.....No...Questions? lot of 'em!. Bitterness?.... none yet (won't say never but ...) Someone close to me said, "I don't mean this ugly, but it's almost as if you're not even phased by all this." Well, I hurt inside, and I often (almost daily) ask God to let me see my boys and Jennifer, if only for a few seconds. Two or three people I can name say they have see Brandon or Garrett, post homegoing. But not me ....yet. We had Brandon for almost 20 years. Garrett... 25. We were so blessed to have them, know the love that comes from being a parent. I saved a few card Brandon gave me on Fathers day, because we knew his days were numbered if God didn't change things. I never saved any of Garretts, I don't think. Just thought he'd be here to bury me. So yes, I have my pity parties where I'm the only attendee. But I have SO MUCH to still be thankful for. God gave me three sons, not just two. I know folks who could never have kids, and weren't able to adopt. I have grandkids. I know people that died before ever holding a grandchild. I have another great daughter in love! Yes, my wife had a stroke, but I've seen so many stroke survivors that have suffered major physical and neurological damage. Janell's dictionary just got cloudy. But the sun, I mean Son, is shining thru now. Life is too precious with family, friends, God's calling on your life, and work. Don't just stop and smell the roses. The smell after a rain, the smile from a stranger, the encouragement of friends, the lyrics to a song remembered, the colors of a sunset, yes even the snapping of a 17 game winning streak by your favorite team,..... they are all worth moving to forefront of your mind. Don't let anger or bitterness rob you of a minutes happiness or enjoyment. You can't get that minute back. And, I can testify, life is too short.
I'll be back...
The other day the friend that cuts my har and has for almost twelve years asked me, she is a Christian herself, how can I still be smiling . How can what you've gone through not made you angry and bitter?
I thought a minute, and just told her this. What would anger accomplish? What would it get me? Bitterness and anger, the best I can remember, have never been a part of my adult make-up. I don't remember really ever having anger.... I take that back. When our boys were small, I can think of a few times I really got angry with them, mostly Brandon. He really tested us a few times. And several times when one or two out of the three would not do their yard work chores, I would get angry. But I can't remember going to bed mad. Now in 37 years of marriage, I'm sure there has been a time or two when I went to bed mad at Janell for something. But I can't remember them. God says in His Word, to not let the sun go down on your anger. And in the last 14, I can't remember ever going to bed mad at all. If I have something that gets me heated up, before I go to bed, I've dealt with it in my own mind. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I'd rather just forgive and forget. And I MEAN forget. I don't have a good long term memory, never have (except for song lyrics - strange). But I just see anger and bitterness as emotions that can cancel out happiness and good things. Sure, in 10 months I've lost a brother, mother in law, aunt, daughter in love and a son, and my wife has had a stroke. Mad?.....No...Questions? lot of 'em!. Bitterness?.... none yet (won't say never but ...) Someone close to me said, "I don't mean this ugly, but it's almost as if you're not even phased by all this." Well, I hurt inside, and I often (almost daily) ask God to let me see my boys and Jennifer, if only for a few seconds. Two or three people I can name say they have see Brandon or Garrett, post homegoing. But not me ....yet. We had Brandon for almost 20 years. Garrett... 25. We were so blessed to have them, know the love that comes from being a parent. I saved a few card Brandon gave me on Fathers day, because we knew his days were numbered if God didn't change things. I never saved any of Garretts, I don't think. Just thought he'd be here to bury me. So yes, I have my pity parties where I'm the only attendee. But I have SO MUCH to still be thankful for. God gave me three sons, not just two. I know folks who could never have kids, and weren't able to adopt. I have grandkids. I know people that died before ever holding a grandchild. I have another great daughter in love! Yes, my wife had a stroke, but I've seen so many stroke survivors that have suffered major physical and neurological damage. Janell's dictionary just got cloudy. But the sun, I mean Son, is shining thru now. Life is too precious with family, friends, God's calling on your life, and work. Don't just stop and smell the roses. The smell after a rain, the smile from a stranger, the encouragement of friends, the lyrics to a song remembered, the colors of a sunset, yes even the snapping of a 17 game winning streak by your favorite team,..... they are all worth moving to forefront of your mind. Don't let anger or bitterness rob you of a minutes happiness or enjoyment. You can't get that minute back. And, I can testify, life is too short.
I'll be back...
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