Just a Peek

Well, Frank's Scribbling 101 time again. I've been thinking of what I should write about, and yet nothing "comes" to me. We will just see where this goes. My day starts at 6:00 when I wake up, brush my teeth, and go sit in my chair in the living room. Sometimes I read God's Word, but most times I just pray. I try to clear out (confess) anything that would keep Him from hearing me, and then try to hear from Him. But most days I just talk to Him. A lot of days, I still ask "Why Jennifer & Garrett?". I still ask, "Why my family". I really want to know the answer, which still has not been made known to me in clear unmistakeable terms. Some days, I can't get but just a few minutes in 'til I start crying. I have my moments during the day, too. A debtor (I work for a Christian Law firm that does collections) will make some remark about how tough life is and that I probably know nothing about that since I'm "working". I just have to swallow hard and ask God to help them, so I can be successful at my job, and fight every temptation to fire back words of self pity and anger. Sometimes, I want to God to just stop the world for one minute and answer my questions!. But then I think of those who not only lost loved ones, but must rebuild their lives, homes and futures around that loss. I don't have to "rebuild" anything. I just have to work really hard on understanding that Jenn and Garrett are together, just as they would want it. They don't have to worry about the world, the economy, the lack of morals and leadership in this country, the murder of the unborn, getting our men and women home from foreign soil. I have to be concerned with making sure Kevin knows I'm there for him; that he, Marlo, Ethan and Logan and Janell know they are the most important thing in this world to me. My answers will come when He is ready to let me know them. But man, does it still hurt! No deep philosophical eyeopeners here tonight, folks. I don't have the intense emotions driving my writings like I did in the hospital. Just a small peek at the internal neural workings of my feeble brain.
On the more humorous side, I'll be singing at Calera Baptist Church Sunday evening. Don't know yet the time or how many selections, but they've graciously invited me to join their ice cream party and singing already scheduled. Hope the music is before their ice cream. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone "losing their cool". LOL

I'll be back.